Questions covered to date:

Question:- The couple that introduced us are good friends but we don't wish to have them as attendants. Is there a role that they can perform in the wedding so that we can acknowledge them and avoid offending them?

Answer:-Two roles that would be ideal for your friends are:

They could each do a reading for you during your wedding ceremony; they could be chief ushers and be in charge of directing people to their seats and handing out the order of service.

Question:- We are getting married next year, but have been living together for two years now. We have everything we need, and would prefer gifts of cash so that we can put the money towards our mortgage. Is there a nice way of asking for that on the invitation?

Answer:-Almost three-quarters of brides and grooms are now living together before they get married so this is a very popular question. As far as bridal etiquette goes, it isn't polite to ask for gifts of any sort from your guests on the invitation as guests are not obliged to give you a present. However, guests usually do give a gift and many enjoy the whole idea of gift shopping and giving. If you prefer a cash gift then tell your families, the wedding party and all your close friends that you would prefer a money and get them to tell that to any guest who asks for gift suggestions. So spread the word - don't put it in writing. Many brides and grooms then set up a wishing well or a money tree at their reception and guests drop the envelope with the cheque in the well or pin it to the tree. A nice gesture to guests who have provided cash gifts is to get them to sign something (such as a signature plate or bear) which can be displayed in your home as a wedding gift. Alternatively, get them to contribute to your honeymoon and set up a honeymoon registry. After the wedding you should send all givers of a cash gift a thank you card letting them know how you are planning to spend their gift. Or if they contributed to your honeymoon, send them a postcard while on your honeymoon.

What should be included in a ceremony program?

A suggested Ceremony Program / Order of Service is below.

The Wedding Ceremony of

[bride's name]

and

[groom's name]

[church or ceremony venue details]

[date]

*******

Ceremony Participants

Parents of the Bride, [names]

Parents of the Groom, [names]

Best man, [name]

Chief bridesmaid, [name]

Groomsmen, [names]

Bridesmaids, [names]

Page boy, [name]

Flower girl, [name]

Readers, [names]

Musicians, [names]

Celebrant, priest or minister, [name]

*******

Ceremony

Prelude, [titles of musical pieces played]

Opening Prayer or Greeting

First Reading, [name of reading]

Rite of Marriage

Exchange of Vows

Blessing and Exchange of Rings

Lighting of the Unity Candle

Second Reading, [name of reading]

Nuptial Blessing

Closing Prayer

Recessional, [titles of musical pieces played]

The venue where my daughter is getting married does not allow confetti but rose petals are acceptable. Where can I get rose petals in quantity?

Firstly, try your daughter's florist who may be able to help.Alternatively, a craft shop may have them such as in kits to make home-made pot pourri.Also, you can make them yourself. There are a few ways:- The cheapest and easiest way to dry roses is to air dry them. On a dry day remove the leaves on the stems and tie the stems together with a rubber band. Hang the stems upside down in a warm (not hot) and dry place. After one to three weeks (depending on temperature and humidity) the colour of the buds will have darkened and the petals will have lost their softness. Gently pull the petals off the bud.Another way is to dry them on a baking sheet in a gas oven which has a pilot light. Take the petals off the buds, spread them in one layer on the baking tray and place them in the oven. They will be dry in four to eight hours but check them regularly to ensure they don't become brittle.You can also use a desiccant to dry the roses. Desiccants draw the moisture out of the air and silica gel is an easy desiccant to use. You will find it in craft stores. Follow the instructions on the packet.

How can I honour my recently deceased grandmother during my wedding ceremony?

A lovely way to honour deceased relatives is to have something that is relevant to the person being remembered, such as words from favourite song, poem or a passage out of a favourite book. Alternatively a good bookshop will have plenty of books of poems and verses which you might like. It could be something from Shakespeare, or The Prophet by Kahlil Gibrain or some Australian poetry either traditional or modern.Or maybe you can write something yourself, just expressing your feeling for your grandmother and how you miss her and wish she were at your wedding. Don’t worry about making it rhyme, just a few heartfelt words will be all you need.

When do I send out my invitations?

Invitations are sent out around 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Put an RSVP date about 3-4 weeks before the wedding on the invitation which will give you some time to send out a second round of invitations if some guests can't make it.

We want to include on our invitations details about accomodation as we are holding our wedding out of town. We have approached several places which are willing to give discounts for group bookings. How would I begin to word this ?

Your invitation should just include details of your wedding ceremony and reception and shouldn't include other information such as accommodation. Put this information on a separate piece of paper and place that in the envelope along with the invitation and your gift registry card if you have one. The information sheet can complement your invitation if you use similar paper and type.

My father has just passed away but has played a huge part in the wedding already (and is still paying for a big part of it!) What do we put on the invitation? My mum is here but it just does not seem right not to put his name on it. Also my fiancee's mother has passed away many years ago and his father has remarried but they are not contributing to the cost of the wedding. I am just not sure what the etiquette is.

The invitations are issued by the hosts of your wedding so traditionally a parent who has passed away is not included on the invitation. But, you don't always have to stick with tradition so put your father's name on the invitation if this is important to you. Particularly, as you say he has only recently passed away and was actively involved in your wedding preparations.You may think it is appropriate to mention that he is deceased, to avoid confusion for your guests eg. Mr Peter Brown (deceased). Traditionally you would only put the groom's parents names on the invitations if they were also hosting your wedding (ie. contributing to it financially). Again though, if you don't have to stick with tradition if you would prefer their names on the invitations. During your wedding ceremony you may wish to have a reading in honour of your father as well. Maybe a favourite poem or some of the words to his favourite song. It would be a lovely oppourtunity to remember your father.

This is our second wedding for both and us and we both have children. What can the children do to help them feel included in our marriage and help blend the two families together?

Depending on their ages, your children can hand out order of service booklets, usher guests to their seats or do a reading. Or you can just have them with you at the alter during the wedding ceremony.

Can you tell me what order should the engagemnt ring and wedding ring be? Should the engagement ring be placed on the finger first followed by the wedding ring or visa versa?

Traditionally the wedding ring is placed first on your finger to be "closest to your heart", followed by the engagement ring. On their wedding day many brides wear their engagement ring on their other hand and place it next to their wedding ring after the ceremony.

When do you buy a eternity ring? My husband and I aren't sure, is it on your first anniversary?

Eternity rings are bought to celebrate either your first wedding anniversary or the birth of your first child.

The best thing to do is have tables so each of your parents and the groom's parents "host" their own table. I suggest three tables so that your mother, your father and your parents-in-law have their own table of family and friends. This will solve any worries about sitting your parents near each other on the 'parents table' and each parent will feel as if they have an important place at your wedding reception.

I don't want to have numbers on the tables at the reception, can you suggest some words we can use instead?

It is a great idea to name, rather than number your guest tables. I have thought of some words which you might like - love, cherish, happiness, romance, commitment, forever, together, friendship, respect, adoration, devotion, passion, treasure. An alternate idea is using the word "love" in other languages - for example amor (Spanish), amore (Italian), amour (French), agapo (Greek), lieben (German), aiyoku (Japanese), elkse (Danish), kasih (Indonesian), rakastaa (Finnish), beminnen (Dutch), karlek (Swedish), mal wees oor (Afrikaans). Colours are another idea or seasonal flowers.

Is it ok to wear white for a second wedding?

These days it is quite appropriate for you to wear whatever you would like for a second wedding. If you wish to wear white, that is ok and it is just as ok to wear any other colour including strong colours such as red (though you may wish to think strongly about black). You won't need a veil as the veil is still reserved for the first-time bride. Instead put flowers in your hair, wear a hat or a small tiara.

I am MC at my mate's wedding. Can you please give me an order of events for the reception, for example who thanks who, in what order. I would also like some hints to get the night off without a hitch.

The MC introduces the speeches, gives a toast to the bride and groom, introduces the speech makers, announces the first dance, the cutting of the cake and the throwing of the garter. The traditional order of speeches, which of course can be altered to suit is:

Toast to the bride and groom by MC/family friend

• Response and toast to the bridesmaids by the groom (and bride)
• Response by the best man (and chief bridesmaid)
• Toast to the parents of the bride
• Response by the father of the bride
• Toast to the parents of the groom
• Response by the father of the groom
• Reading of messages
• Any other comments by those who wish to be acknowledged.

Then there is:

• First dance
• Cutting of the cake
• Throwing of the garter

General rules about speechmaking at a wedding are - don't mention stories that will embarrass the bride or groom and don't talk for too long. There are many good books about speechmaking available in book shops. If you need any more information then have a look at one of those. You'll find some that quote poems, jokes or other things which may be suitable to put into your speech as well as the formalities that you will need to cover.

Please tell my why we have the following traditions - something old, something new, something borrowed something blue and the throwing of the bouquet and garter.

The something old/something blue saying dates back to olden English days and it is meant to bestow good luck on the bride. It means:Something old - protects the bride and links the wedding day with her past. Something new - brings success and good luck to the bride's future life. Something borrowed - transfers happiness to the bride when borrowed from a happily married woman. Something blue - signifies loyalty and faithfulness. You can also add: A silver sixpence in her shoe - wishes the bride wealth.In mediaeval times wedding guests would follow the bride and groom to their wedding chamber after the end of the ceremony. It was considered good luck to try and grab a part of the bride's clothing and this developed into throwing of the bouquet and garter instead.

What do the five sugared almonds in bonboniere represent?

The five sugared almonds represent fertility, health, wealth, luck and happiness and traditionally they are given to the female guests at your wedding.

What at the traditional and contemporary wedding anniversary gifts?

My partner and I have been together for seven years and we have a wonderful two-year-old. We have decided to get married but we don’t have a lot of money, do you have any suggestions on how to have a really nice wedding without spending too much?

There are many ways of having a budget wedding without it looking like a budget wedding. However as one bride's budget wedding may be another bride's extravaganza my suggestions are really quite general.The most expensive part of any wedding is the reception. If you wish to cut costs then you should look at the type of reception you have planned. The less formal the reception then the easier it is to keep down the costs.Obviously a smaller wedding is less expensive than a large wedding because there are less mouths to feed and what you save on quantity you can put towards quality. Also a buffet or cocktail food is less expensive than a formal sit down three or four course dinner. Daytime receptions are also less expensive than evening receptions because of wages costs. Also, keeping the reception less than four hours will mean you may save on room hire.Depending on how much you want to save then the least expensive wedding reception is a morning reception. At a morning reception you can serve champagne and orange juice with a light meal of fresh croissants, chicken sandwiches and fruit. A morning reception is ideally held in a local park (some parks are free) or someone's garden with a marquee arranged just in case the weather is bad. It would probably not go for more than two or three hours.Also, look at your alcohol list and serve only beer, wine and Australian sparkling wine, not spirits, ports etc as these are more expensive.

I don't have very much money to buy a wedding present, what should I do?

Most couples will have registered for gifts that span many price ranges. You may be surprised to find something you can afford there. Otherwise, consider making something- your friends will appreciate the time and heart you put into your gift. If you're not the crafty type, why not put together a gift of a few kitchen gadgets tied with a pretty bow, this is just as effective as any fancy packaging.

Do I have to buy a whole place setting, or can I just buy a dinner plate?

This depends on the store you're purchasing from. If you're buying fine china, you can often purchase just one item. You may find that the couple has registered for a very expensive pattern, and thus anything more than a single item will blow your budget. Its perfectly appropriate - other guests will likely fill in by purchasing the other items. Do make inquiries before hand though, this will save a lot of embarrassment in the long run!

What if someone else gives the same wedding present?

Most registries have a very easy return policy, and may even alert the couple to the duplication before they ship it. Your friends will be able to get something else that they admire. Some wedding gift lists can appear on line and will display what has already been bought, this is a brilliant idea and saves the hassle of returning or exchanging duplicate gifts, so ask the marrying couple if this is a service provided by their gift registry.

We are staying at a couples/adult only resort but have guests with children will it be possible for them to attend our wedding?

The majority of adult only properties do not allow children to attend a wedding, very few make exceptions to this rule, you should always check this before booking you wedding abroad if you want children to be present.

Can we invite guests to our wedding?

Look for the fantastic offers for groups. Many of the wedding packages offer a free wedding depending on the size of your party. Your friends and relatives can even stay at other properties and attend your wedding if they purchase a day pass which will enable them to enter your hotel and use the facilities within the resort. There are some good deals out there so shop around and make the most of what different companies have to offer.

What should we do about the Sun?

You will be tempted to expose yourself to the sun in the first few days of your holiday, be careful not to overdo it. Use a high factor suncream. Brides who will be wearing an off the shoulder number choose a swimming costume with removable straps! There is nothing worse than white strap marks in your photographs. Be carfeful not to burn, use plenty of sun factor and aftersun to cool and lock moisture into the skin, there is nothing worse than peeling skin!

What should we wear for our wedding?

Cool cottons or lightweight clothes are a good idea. During mid afternoon the sun can be at its hottest, traditional dress may be unbearable and difficult for the Beach Bride to wear. Grooms wear a lightweight and light-coloured suit as this will not attract the sun as much as dark colours do. Brides think about the style choose a style which will give you maximum comfort in the heat. It really is an individual choice, casual or traditional is accepted in most locations

Some of our documents are written in a foreign language - is this a problem?

All documents should be in English. If your documents are in another language a certified translation is required. This can be a lengthy process so please leave plenty of time.

What documentation is required for a wedding abroad?

Documentation - please check with us for full details, however, you usually need the following

• Passport
• Birth Certificate
• Divorce Decree Absolute (if applicable)
• Single Status Affidavit (if applicable)
• Change of Name Deed (if applicable)
• Death Certificate and Marriage Certificate of Deceased Spouse (if applicable)

If I have been previously married can I travel using my maiden name?

You can use your maiden name if you have the relevant paperwork to confirm that you have officially reverted to your maiden name. You will need a 'Change of Name by Deed Poll' document from your solicitor. If you do not have the correct documentation, travelling under your maiden name will not be allowed and your previous marital name will have to be used.